Spotting the signs of a healthy relationship.
- I feel they are honest with me
- I feel I can trust them
- I am accepted as I am
- I am happy being with them
- I feel safe when I am with them
- We can talk openly about how we feel
- I still see my friends
- I have my own activities I do without them
- I feel free to make my own decisions
- I Know my boyfriend/girlfriend won’t hurt me
- I feel like they respect me
- I feel listened to
- I don’t feel pressured to do anything I don’t want to, including sexual activity.
When someone loves you, you should feel safe, respected and free to be yourself.
You shouldn’t be made to feel scared, intimidated or controlled. If your answer is ‘no’ to the any of the above statements, you could be in an unhealthy relationship, and may need to seek help from a trusted adult.
Remember, a relationship does not have to be violent, to be abusive.
Here are some warning signs to look out for…
- Checking up on you – do they regularly question who you are with? where you are? what you are doing?
- Feeling pressurised or threatened in any way
- Feeling isolated – do they interfere with who you see or talk to?
- They push you for quick commitment
- Controlling what you wear
- Criticism or verbal abuse that makes you feel bad
- Not having your beliefs and boundaries respected
- Your friends/family commenting on how you have changed – physically, your demeanour, less contact with them etc.
- ‘Treading on egg shells’ – trying not to make them angry
- They blame others for their own mistakes
- They are very critical when talking about ex partners and may compare you.
Talking about Relationship Abuse…
- Remember it is not your fault and there is support to help you
- No problem is too big or too small to be shared
- Talk to friends, family and trusted adults about what is happening
- Speak to someone who isn’t friendly with your girlfriend/boyfriend
- Contact Swindon Women’s Aid on 01793 610610
Download our safety plan workbook below (to be printed as A4 or as a booklet)
See how many words you can find in our Relationship Abuse Wordsearch, Click here, print and begin!
Below are some other websites that provide more information and resources for young people in abusive relationships.
- www.thehideout.org.uk is ran by the women’s aid and has resources for both children and adults on the impact of abuse.
- www.lovedontfeelbad.co.uk has activities and young people’s experiences of abuse
- www.loveisrespect.org has resources & activities
- www.thedockswindon.co.uk provides support to young people on a variety of issues
Other services that can help
Childline provides support to anyone aged under 19, with whatever issue they are going through.
Helpline 0800 1111
www.childline.org.uk – childline also has online counsellors
Ontrak (Swindon base youth counselling service) – supports ages 14 -19yrs
Tel. 01793 464662
New Swindon Sanctuary Sexual assault referral centre (SARC) provides comprehensive and compassionate care, from medical examination and treatment, to counselling and referrals to other necessary services.
24hr helpline 0808 168 0024
CEOP (child exploitation and online protection centre) runs the website www.thinkuknow.co.uk . They are there to assist with all matters relating to online safety, including revenge porn, cyberbullying and inappropriate sharing of images. On this website you can access support and information.
GALOP provides support for lesbian, gay & transgender victims of abuse (formerly Broken Rainbow) .
Helpline 0300 999 5428
U- turn (Swindon based service providing support for children and young people struggling with alcohol, drugs and substance misuse)
U- turn is a Swindon based service providing support for children and young people struggling with alcohol, drugs and substance misuse.
Tel: 01793 464662is